This morning I loaded my groceries into my car and pushed the grocery cart to the "Buggy Corral", the area of the parking lot set aside for the carts. I took a few steps toward the driver's door and saw, less than ten feet from the Buggy Corral, a lone cart. I was so annoyed and my first thought was "How lazy can a person be? The cart corral is RIGHT THERE!" I went to the cart and herded it into the corral with the others. As I was driving away, I was railing in my mind at the thoughtless of others. Why can't people just do what is right?
I consider myself tolerant of others. Most of us do. Most of us just want to be treated fairly, want others to follow the rules, show consideration. As I drove home, I wondered if I am truly accepting and tolerant. I wondered where my perception of fairness comes from. I wondered who makes the rules. I joke about how much I could change and fix if I was Queen of the World. The Queen of the World could make all kinds of decisions, big and small, and fix things so life would be so much better.
Three things I would do if I were Queen of the World:
- I would make the rules realistic. Big rules like "No one goes to bed hungry" and little rules like "Put the cart away". I wouldn't legislate the rules; all people would understand all the rules. The rules would make sense so they'd be followed. We can't live without rules but we can live with sensible and reasonable rules.
- I would create celebrations of and for silliness. The sillier the better. We need more silliness. Laughter brings us together. There would be an annual contest to honor those who are too serious, with great work to bring them back to the silly side of life. Maybe the first winner would be the lady who drove home from the grocery store mad at the person who left a cart outside the boundaries of the well-defined cart collection area.
- I would reward those who nap. Naps are important. Enough said.
I don't know when the voting for Queen of the World takes place. I don't know how to get my name on the nomination form. Are you going to run? I would encourage it - the world needs more queens (and kings). Crawl into your mind, decide what you would change, and make that change in your own piece of the world. The ripples will be far-reaching.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
I Remember...
I've had some interesting trips into my memory the past few months. Long-forgotten tidbits of my life have revealed themselves to me. Some have made me smile, some have startled me, some have bewildered me, but all have helped me better understand who I truly am at my core. I have grown: physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, and spiritually but I know that my core being is the same as when I was a wee girl. It is an amazing realization for me that I have always been THIS person.
Three things brought memories to the front of my mind:
- In the spring, I was involved in a team building session that involved doing work with horses. As I headed out to the pasture with my co-workers, I stopped. I couldn't go on and I could not go near those horses. When I was very tiny, before I started school, I was kicked by a horse with the result being some days of hospitalization in an oxygen tent. The memory of this event presented itself this spring as a re-living of that one kick that caught me in the chest and sent me flying backwards. I felt and relived every emotion, and missing pieces of what happened that day became very clear. It's odd; I have been around and ridden horses at various time in my life. I don't know why that on this spring day, forty-nine years later, my past replayed itself. It was strange, but it was powerful and spiritual.
- I took a course focused on writing my autobiography. Each week a theme was presented and the students were to write two pages (only two pages? I have much more to say than that!) for sharing the next week. Major life themes were explored. Questions were asked and assignments given. Much of my life that has lain dormant in my brain woke up and fought its' way to my conciousness. Reviewing my life this way was sometimes painful, sometimes joyous, sometimes hilarious, but mostly it was liberating. I have never before looked back in a way to view my life as a whole, to objectively analyze how I came to be me. How wondrous to have a different view of the same life!
- I stood in a grocery store parking lot in my home town a few weeks ago, across the street at the building where my Dad once worked. I remembered playing next door to that building and in the field across the street - right where I was now standing on pavement. I felt the freedom of that child I was, running and playing along the street. I recalled walking down that street, from "downtown" to our house, and singing "It's a long way to Tipperary", and reaching to pull leaves off the bushes and trees. I could feel the excitement of a game of "Hide and Go Seek" played at dusk on a hot summer evening. I thought about playing in "the ditch", when main street was dug up to replace water mains and the feeling of pride and accomplishment that I could climb out. I could smell the gas from the little black burning pots that were placed as warning for drivers. A feeling of bravery as I climbed into a combine cab in the lot where farm implements were sold rushed through my body. I stood and looked at my Dad's garage for only ten minutes or so; memories and emotions came so quickly. The memories and emotions have remained and not yet faded as they had before.
What does all this mean? It means I am rediscovering myself and focusing on who I am, who I have always been. It's leading me to the path of my self. It's putting me in touch with something greater than me. Call it what you will: God, the Universe, The Great Spirit, Never-ending Energy. It's leading me to what I am meant to do, what I've always been meant to do and didn't recognize, and opening me up. It means that it wasn't all as bad as I thought for these many years. It means that I had joy and fun and great people in my life along with the pain. I chose only to remember and focus on the pain for many wasted years.
I believe that we can recall everything that has happened to us, if the situation is right and our minds and souls are open. It may be scary, it may cause fear, it may cause pain, but it also can bring great joy, excitement, and purpose. Breathe deep, relax, and remember.
Three things brought memories to the front of my mind:
- In the spring, I was involved in a team building session that involved doing work with horses. As I headed out to the pasture with my co-workers, I stopped. I couldn't go on and I could not go near those horses. When I was very tiny, before I started school, I was kicked by a horse with the result being some days of hospitalization in an oxygen tent. The memory of this event presented itself this spring as a re-living of that one kick that caught me in the chest and sent me flying backwards. I felt and relived every emotion, and missing pieces of what happened that day became very clear. It's odd; I have been around and ridden horses at various time in my life. I don't know why that on this spring day, forty-nine years later, my past replayed itself. It was strange, but it was powerful and spiritual.
- I took a course focused on writing my autobiography. Each week a theme was presented and the students were to write two pages (only two pages? I have much more to say than that!) for sharing the next week. Major life themes were explored. Questions were asked and assignments given. Much of my life that has lain dormant in my brain woke up and fought its' way to my conciousness. Reviewing my life this way was sometimes painful, sometimes joyous, sometimes hilarious, but mostly it was liberating. I have never before looked back in a way to view my life as a whole, to objectively analyze how I came to be me. How wondrous to have a different view of the same life!
- I stood in a grocery store parking lot in my home town a few weeks ago, across the street at the building where my Dad once worked. I remembered playing next door to that building and in the field across the street - right where I was now standing on pavement. I felt the freedom of that child I was, running and playing along the street. I recalled walking down that street, from "downtown" to our house, and singing "It's a long way to Tipperary", and reaching to pull leaves off the bushes and trees. I could feel the excitement of a game of "Hide and Go Seek" played at dusk on a hot summer evening. I thought about playing in "the ditch", when main street was dug up to replace water mains and the feeling of pride and accomplishment that I could climb out. I could smell the gas from the little black burning pots that were placed as warning for drivers. A feeling of bravery as I climbed into a combine cab in the lot where farm implements were sold rushed through my body. I stood and looked at my Dad's garage for only ten minutes or so; memories and emotions came so quickly. The memories and emotions have remained and not yet faded as they had before.
What does all this mean? It means I am rediscovering myself and focusing on who I am, who I have always been. It's leading me to the path of my self. It's putting me in touch with something greater than me. Call it what you will: God, the Universe, The Great Spirit, Never-ending Energy. It's leading me to what I am meant to do, what I've always been meant to do and didn't recognize, and opening me up. It means that it wasn't all as bad as I thought for these many years. It means that I had joy and fun and great people in my life along with the pain. I chose only to remember and focus on the pain for many wasted years.
I believe that we can recall everything that has happened to us, if the situation is right and our minds and souls are open. It may be scary, it may cause fear, it may cause pain, but it also can bring great joy, excitement, and purpose. Breathe deep, relax, and remember.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Lists of Life
I'm sitting here contemplating what I really want to do today. Since my meet-and-greet with cancer almost five years ago, I have been more willing to do what I want rather than what I need to do. There are a combination of both floating in my brain today. My brain is also stretching into what I want to be doing more long-term. There's so much! How can I decide, both for today and for tomorrow and next week and next year? I've learned enough about myself that if I tackle chores, it leads to an easier week ahead. I've learned enough about myself that I can make the chores enjoyable and see the way a mundane chore finished feeds my soul by the wonder of simple accomplishment. It is so easy for me to let this all get stuck in the spin cycle in my brain and avoid what I want to do. Why is that? Why and how have I trained myself this way? It is far too easy to go back to my old patterns of living. but my core self knows that the push to move ahead is always worth it.
Writing things down makes it all come to some place of organization and then it turns into action. I'm a list-maker. I have lists and list and lists. I am a hardcopy pen and paper list maker. Scribble it down - crossing something off the list just feels good. I usually keep the list until everything is struck through. I can then see how much I have really done. I need to do that because the list will never end. Sometimes I rewrite the lists; this is mostly because I keep adding things as they occur to me. The lists become somewhat illegible and, worst of all, they get mixed up. I keep lists for different things. Yep, I got it bad.
Three lists for today's choices:
- The chore list. I am almost ashamed to admit that I keep a list of chores. This is not my usual daily chores, but the long list of bigger stuff. Things like 'shampoo carpet', 'clean fridge', 'paint walls' are on this list. I won't forget I need to get these things done, but the crossing-off the chore list is the best crossing-off there is! It means something big and time-consuming is finished.
- The family history list. (I have two, actually - one for each side of the family). I have promised cousins on both sides of the family either pictures or information. As a recipient of others' kindness, it is important to me to share the information. I know how thrilling it is to get a new photograph or family story. And the information is not mine. It belongs to the larger community of my family.
- The what-do-I-want-in-my-life list. This is the one that never ends. This is the one where I make my plans for the long term. This is the one that is most difficult. This one keeps growing and growing. This is the one where I make the project plans for my life. It is hard for me to break this one down into doable actions. This is the one that is filled with concepts and ideas. This is the one where I find myself. The list grows and I grow.
Today I will get a larger chore done, I will organize some old snapshots to scan, and I will review where I want to go next. Perhaps I will develop a 'project plan' for one of those big life-changing things and hone in on what I truly want and the actions to get there. And for right now, I will get ready to meet an old friend for coffee and a visit in the park. That was not on any list, but my thoughts and lists and organization of my life can not and will not keep me from feeding my soul with my people.
Writing things down makes it all come to some place of organization and then it turns into action. I'm a list-maker. I have lists and list and lists. I am a hardcopy pen and paper list maker. Scribble it down - crossing something off the list just feels good. I usually keep the list until everything is struck through. I can then see how much I have really done. I need to do that because the list will never end. Sometimes I rewrite the lists; this is mostly because I keep adding things as they occur to me. The lists become somewhat illegible and, worst of all, they get mixed up. I keep lists for different things. Yep, I got it bad.
Three lists for today's choices:
- The chore list. I am almost ashamed to admit that I keep a list of chores. This is not my usual daily chores, but the long list of bigger stuff. Things like 'shampoo carpet', 'clean fridge', 'paint walls' are on this list. I won't forget I need to get these things done, but the crossing-off the chore list is the best crossing-off there is! It means something big and time-consuming is finished.
- The family history list. (I have two, actually - one for each side of the family). I have promised cousins on both sides of the family either pictures or information. As a recipient of others' kindness, it is important to me to share the information. I know how thrilling it is to get a new photograph or family story. And the information is not mine. It belongs to the larger community of my family.
- The what-do-I-want-in-my-life list. This is the one that never ends. This is the one where I make my plans for the long term. This is the one that is most difficult. This one keeps growing and growing. This is the one where I make the project plans for my life. It is hard for me to break this one down into doable actions. This is the one that is filled with concepts and ideas. This is the one where I find myself. The list grows and I grow.
Today I will get a larger chore done, I will organize some old snapshots to scan, and I will review where I want to go next. Perhaps I will develop a 'project plan' for one of those big life-changing things and hone in on what I truly want and the actions to get there. And for right now, I will get ready to meet an old friend for coffee and a visit in the park. That was not on any list, but my thoughts and lists and organization of my life can not and will not keep me from feeding my soul with my people.
Monday, June 11, 2012
The Soccer Field
I stood on my balcony last night. It was a cool – no, cold –
evening for early June. The day had been cloudy with high winds all day. The
temperature had only reached eleven degrees, but I’m sure it was only
about zero with the wind chill. The sun was just setting and when there was a
break in the traffic, I could hear frogs ribbitting and singing in the soccer field
across from my house. We’d had rain for a few days and the northeast corner of
the field was now a puddle. I guess that is where the frogs were. There is no
other pond or creek nearby. It was peaceful and the frogs sounded mournful.
Three things about the soccer field:- The first summer I lived here I saw a fox on the south end of the field, near a stand of bush that has not yet been developed into light industrial enterprises, like the rest of this area. I was thrilled to see this piece of nature out my window. As time went by, I often saw two foxes lying in the city-trimmed grass on the soccer field. After a few weeks, I saw two baby foxes, out with their parents, sun tanning and playing together, jumping and wrestling. Each summer I watched for the foxes, and enjoyed seeing the new babies grow up. I bought binoculars to get an up close view. Two years ago, I saw them only once, and last year not at all. I’m concerned about where they have gone. Pushed out by the intrusion of too many humans, no doubt; people using the soccer field for an off-leash area and a regular group of young men who come to fly their remote control helicopters and airplanes around the soccer field.
- There are occasional deer who visit the soccer field.
Majestic and wondrous, having a late lunch or bedtime snack on the well-tended
grass. The Kid and I once watched one of the foxes start to chase a deer that
was protecting her fawn, which was almost hidden in the bush. It was fascinating to watch
and I wanted them both “to win”. The
deer prevailed after many minutes of what looked like a game of tag, back
safely with her baby, and they bounded off into the bush, while the fox lay
panting in the cool grass.
- A large number of birds eat on the soccer field as well.
Crows, ravens, gulls, robins, song birds, all sharing a snack of seeds and
worms, eating together in peace. In the fall, as the leaves are beginning to
turn, the crows gather on the branches and tops of the trees. There are hundreds
of them, and in unison they take flight and head southeast. I’m sure they are
going to the trees that line the north hill in my city. There are often
thousands and thousands of crows in those north hill trees in the fall, turning the red
and yellow fall colours black with their presence.
Sitting on my balcony, I can take a few minutes to feed my
soul and find peace in this small piece of nature with all its diversity. This
magical spot sits in the middle of a light industrial development on the north
and south, with train tracks adjacent on the west and a major city road on the
east. The wildlife and changing seasons help me keep in touch with what is
real, and I’m grateful. I will enjoy this as often as I can for as long as I
can, because I’m sure, someday, the soccer association will sell the land, and
the city will sell the stand of bush. I hope that doesn’t happen for a long
time. I need place where I can still hear frogs sing.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Know Thyself.
The Kid is coming home! She has been in a different world, thousands of miles away for the past year. The year has both gone by quickly and dragged on. We've both tried new things, new lives, and have grown and changed. Some days I wonder if we'll still recognize each other. Will we revert to our established mother-daughter relationship, or will we recognize each other as well-rounded full people, more than just a daughter, more than just a mother?
Three things about knowing thyself:
- Peopledon't mean to hide parts of themselves. It just happens as relationships build. We show the parts we can to others. We try protect ourselves from hurt. As much as I like to think I am always "just me", I know that I show different parts of me to different people at different times. It changes, kaliedoscope-like, with little shifts. Here's the thing - it isn't a trick with mirrors and glittery glass; it is me being me, with all my many parts. It is you being you, with all your many parts.
- Through my autobiography course, I've had some amazing memories bubble up to my waking brain. The memories triggered by this course have led me to view chunks of my life in a far more objective way than I ever have, and I see quite clearly my path of growth and change. I've written some pages on major life themes and my values and beliefs. It has grounded me on who I am (today) and how I came to be this person. It has shown me that events wove together, even those that seem unconnected, to become my life. It has taught me about what I hide from others and shown me why.
- When I've gotten close to knowing and understanding myself, becoming who I am meant to be, my life shifts, I shift. There is another layer underneath, waiting for me to discover. I need to rearrange my thoughts and realizations about who I am, unhide a part of me that was laying dormant, and discover another facet of my person. It is an amazing and sometimes painful process of growth. Each time, I have more peace and more connection with something greater than me. God, the Universe, the Creator, the Force. Call it what you will. It is there and it is me. It is you.
For a long time, I have believed that things happen for a reason, although we often don't see that reason for a very long time, and sometimes not ever. Sometimes when we think stuff happens to us or for us or because of us, it really happens to make a change in someone else's life. The Kid had to leave for herself but she also had to leave for me. It's been a year of incredible growth and change for both of us, to help us each get to where we need to be on our roads to what's next. She will arrive in less than two weeks. We will rejoice! We will laugh. We will cry. We will recognize each other. We will see each other with new eyes. We will hide parts of ourselves. We will see the change and growth we've each experienced. We will open new parts of ourselves. We will revert to our established mother-daughter relationship. We will hate to say goodbye as she leaves again, and we will know ourselves and each other in a fuller way than we did one year ago.
Three things about knowing thyself:
- Peopledon't mean to hide parts of themselves. It just happens as relationships build. We show the parts we can to others. We try protect ourselves from hurt. As much as I like to think I am always "just me", I know that I show different parts of me to different people at different times. It changes, kaliedoscope-like, with little shifts. Here's the thing - it isn't a trick with mirrors and glittery glass; it is me being me, with all my many parts. It is you being you, with all your many parts.
- Through my autobiography course, I've had some amazing memories bubble up to my waking brain. The memories triggered by this course have led me to view chunks of my life in a far more objective way than I ever have, and I see quite clearly my path of growth and change. I've written some pages on major life themes and my values and beliefs. It has grounded me on who I am (today) and how I came to be this person. It has shown me that events wove together, even those that seem unconnected, to become my life. It has taught me about what I hide from others and shown me why.
- When I've gotten close to knowing and understanding myself, becoming who I am meant to be, my life shifts, I shift. There is another layer underneath, waiting for me to discover. I need to rearrange my thoughts and realizations about who I am, unhide a part of me that was laying dormant, and discover another facet of my person. It is an amazing and sometimes painful process of growth. Each time, I have more peace and more connection with something greater than me. God, the Universe, the Creator, the Force. Call it what you will. It is there and it is me. It is you.
For a long time, I have believed that things happen for a reason, although we often don't see that reason for a very long time, and sometimes not ever. Sometimes when we think stuff happens to us or for us or because of us, it really happens to make a change in someone else's life. The Kid had to leave for herself but she also had to leave for me. It's been a year of incredible growth and change for both of us, to help us each get to where we need to be on our roads to what's next. She will arrive in less than two weeks. We will rejoice! We will laugh. We will cry. We will recognize each other. We will see each other with new eyes. We will hide parts of ourselves. We will see the change and growth we've each experienced. We will open new parts of ourselves. We will revert to our established mother-daughter relationship. We will hate to say goodbye as she leaves again, and we will know ourselves and each other in a fuller way than we did one year ago.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Work, Work, Work
A few times each year, I struggle with having to work. These "few times" are coming more frequently and lasting longer. I like my job and the past few months, I've been given some opportunities to do some new work. I love the faith and trust placed in me and I love being able to learn and do new things. I just don't like having to spend so much of my life at work, instead of just living. This feeling has intensified since my meet-and-greet with cancer and I work hard at not letting that 'hate to work' feeling overwhelm me. It's not just my current job/career - I just don't want to work at all. The food, shelter, and clothing thing gets in the way of not working.
Three things (of many) I'd do if I didn't have to work:
- Travel. While there are innumerable places on this Earth to visit and experience, my travelling would center around travel to see relatives. I want to spend more time with them, get to know them better, and talk to them about their lives. I want to record their stories and their memories. This is much more than just family history, this is part of who I am, who they are, how we came to be these amazing people. There are so many stories they have that are worth telling.
- Write. If I wasn't spending eleven hours of each day involved in some aspect of work, I would write more and I would write more often. I have thoughts, ideas, stories, novels, essays, bouncing in my brain almost continuosly. Writing satisfies my need to create, to touch others, to educate, to learn about my self, and to journey into my soul. Of everything I do, writing is what I love the very most.
- Give. I would volunteer my time. There are so many people and so many agencies that need help. When I volunteer and give of myself, my time, my talents, I am feeding my soul in the most satisfying way possible. Helping and giving are why we are here.
I DO do these three things; it is just not often enough or long enough for me. I am cheating myself because it is physically impossible to do enough of them. There are many, many other things I would do if I didn't work. I would scrapbook more, I would write family history, I would finish the projects I've started and never finished, I would do the projects that are just concepts in my brain, I would spend time with my people, I would find those other places to visit and experience, I would learn to play the piano and the guitar, I would remodel parts of my home. My list is endless. I would never be bored.
It is late Sunday afternoon, and time for me to start the chores that make the next work week easier. Investing time now will buy me a few more precious moments through the work week to squeeze in a bit of what I really want. Tomorrow I will get up, get ready, work hard, enjoy and like most of it, dislike some parts of it, and trudge my way toward another weekend, resenting that I have to work at all. But I will be there, actively participating and finding the great moments that happen. I just wish I didn't have to.
Three things (of many) I'd do if I didn't have to work:
- Travel. While there are innumerable places on this Earth to visit and experience, my travelling would center around travel to see relatives. I want to spend more time with them, get to know them better, and talk to them about their lives. I want to record their stories and their memories. This is much more than just family history, this is part of who I am, who they are, how we came to be these amazing people. There are so many stories they have that are worth telling.
- Write. If I wasn't spending eleven hours of each day involved in some aspect of work, I would write more and I would write more often. I have thoughts, ideas, stories, novels, essays, bouncing in my brain almost continuosly. Writing satisfies my need to create, to touch others, to educate, to learn about my self, and to journey into my soul. Of everything I do, writing is what I love the very most.
- Give. I would volunteer my time. There are so many people and so many agencies that need help. When I volunteer and give of myself, my time, my talents, I am feeding my soul in the most satisfying way possible. Helping and giving are why we are here.
I DO do these three things; it is just not often enough or long enough for me. I am cheating myself because it is physically impossible to do enough of them. There are many, many other things I would do if I didn't work. I would scrapbook more, I would write family history, I would finish the projects I've started and never finished, I would do the projects that are just concepts in my brain, I would spend time with my people, I would find those other places to visit and experience, I would learn to play the piano and the guitar, I would remodel parts of my home. My list is endless. I would never be bored.
It is late Sunday afternoon, and time for me to start the chores that make the next work week easier. Investing time now will buy me a few more precious moments through the work week to squeeze in a bit of what I really want. Tomorrow I will get up, get ready, work hard, enjoy and like most of it, dislike some parts of it, and trudge my way toward another weekend, resenting that I have to work at all. But I will be there, actively participating and finding the great moments that happen. I just wish I didn't have to.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Where Have I Been? Where Am I Going?
I've been busy this winter and spring, much busier than I usually am through the cold, long, dark, snowy, icy winter months. This was self-imposed. I know that if I don't make an effort to get out of the house, that it gets harder and harder to go out. I hate being cold and I hate the short hours of sunlight and I hate trying to drive on the ice ruts that develop in my city. I signed up for classes and made plans with friends. And then, a suprise from Mother Nature! We had the warmest winter in my memory, with very little snow. It was easy for me to get to my activities. I'm already asking for the same jet stream to be around for the remainder of all my winters. I had to give up some things to take on the new, with sleep being at the top of that list. We can not have something new without saying goodbye to something else.
Three things I've been doing:
- I took a Level A Improv class last October. I loved it so much I took Level A again in January and Level B in March. I didn't want Level B to end and hope the planned Level C for next fall goes ahead. If not, I may just take Levels A & B over and over and over. It was the best break of the week for me - two hours of laughter, of creativity (both mine and others), of learning, of being spontaneous, of learning to listen, of trusting myself and my absolute base gut instincts.
- I enrolled in a writing class - Writing a Guided Autobiography. I wanted something to force me to write in a more structured way, with some guidelines and timelines. It has given me that. I have no plans, at present, to write my autobiography, but the assignments have given me some thought and new perspectives for writing my family history stories. It has also triggered my memory about much of my life and given me food for thought about who I am, who I always thought I was, who I want to become, what is important to me, a mental timeline of my changes and growth.
- I've been attending meditation sessions every couple of weeks. It was interesting for me to realize I have been meditating for much of my life, but didn't know it. I had no name for the places I would go in my mind to relax, to visualize, to daydream, to connect with something greater than myself. These planned group sessions are opening doors to my self and my connection to whatever it is that is out there, whether is is called God, The Universe, The Power, The Great Spirit. It is part of my spiritual journey and one of my favorite soul-feeding exercises.
Being busy and sleep-deprived much of the time was worth it. This list of things I've received and learned these past months astounds me in some ways. In other ways, it seems like a natural progresssion and just part of me and my life. It's a bit of a paradox; by seeing the wonder of my life and my capabilites and my abilities that sight has become part of my every day life. I strive to keep myself in awe of what gifts I have received for granted. These gifts include the people around me; friends, family, colleagues, the instructors, the cashier at the grocery store. All have something to offer me. And I have something to offer them, to offer you. Stay tuned.
Three things I've been doing:
- I took a Level A Improv class last October. I loved it so much I took Level A again in January and Level B in March. I didn't want Level B to end and hope the planned Level C for next fall goes ahead. If not, I may just take Levels A & B over and over and over. It was the best break of the week for me - two hours of laughter, of creativity (both mine and others), of learning, of being spontaneous, of learning to listen, of trusting myself and my absolute base gut instincts.
- I enrolled in a writing class - Writing a Guided Autobiography. I wanted something to force me to write in a more structured way, with some guidelines and timelines. It has given me that. I have no plans, at present, to write my autobiography, but the assignments have given me some thought and new perspectives for writing my family history stories. It has also triggered my memory about much of my life and given me food for thought about who I am, who I always thought I was, who I want to become, what is important to me, a mental timeline of my changes and growth.
- I've been attending meditation sessions every couple of weeks. It was interesting for me to realize I have been meditating for much of my life, but didn't know it. I had no name for the places I would go in my mind to relax, to visualize, to daydream, to connect with something greater than myself. These planned group sessions are opening doors to my self and my connection to whatever it is that is out there, whether is is called God, The Universe, The Power, The Great Spirit. It is part of my spiritual journey and one of my favorite soul-feeding exercises.
Being busy and sleep-deprived much of the time was worth it. This list of things I've received and learned these past months astounds me in some ways. In other ways, it seems like a natural progresssion and just part of me and my life. It's a bit of a paradox; by seeing the wonder of my life and my capabilites and my abilities that sight has become part of my every day life. I strive to keep myself in awe of what gifts I have received for granted. These gifts include the people around me; friends, family, colleagues, the instructors, the cashier at the grocery store. All have something to offer me. And I have something to offer them, to offer you. Stay tuned.
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