A rather hard day today; rumors of more cut backs and restructuring at work so people were edgy and more demanding than usual. Then news that a former colleague is having a very tough time with her chemo. Then news that a friend's father-in-law passed away. It's sometimes a bit of a stretch to keep finding the good things and gratitude on days like today. Harder to do, but more important to find the good things on a bad day, without discounting how the bad stuff makes me, and others, feel.
Three things I thought about to make the bad day better:
-I am alive and healthy, and have been given compassion that I can share with my grieving friend and suffering former colleague.
-Work is work, and everyone reacts differently to change. I can only make decisions about my own actions and reactions. I had the wisdom granted to me today to remember people were reacting to a situation, and not to me personally.
-I thought about how great the weather is, and how sunshine energizes me.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
What Shall I Do?
A very hot summer Saturday, with no plans made yet. Chores await, and although there are some chores I actually want to do, these are the three things I'd rather do:
-write some more of my maternal family history for a local history book that is being published next year. I have started a rough draft and have a good outline to follow. There are a large number of local history books from the areas where my people settled, and yet there is very little mention of my family. Procrastination/Tronnes Time on one side of the family and perhaps lack of interest on the other side? Or maybe the families didn't know in time to have their stories included. I believe this is an important undertaking and everyone should write something of their history, even if not for a formal publication. Even though there has not been a good, comprehensive story published about my family in any of these books, there have been enough tidbits (usually is someone else's story where my family is mentioned) that I have learned things I never knew. The greater goal is to continue writing what I've started. A tome of information, and I have started with basic information about both sides of the family. I don't spend as much time as I'd like writing the next chapters.
-scrapbooking in some way, shape, or form. I'm in the middle of three ablums and have at least four other planned in my head. I also want to create a huge wall mural of family history and photos incorporating scrapbooking techniques. I haven't figured out what type of medium to use. My first thought was to paint and post directly on the wall. I still love that idea, but if I ever move from this place, the wall will be lost, and it would take a ton of work to remove/repaint. I also have a collage idea for recovering my file boxes. My desire to create is strong this morning, so I should give into that, and leave the chores.
-scanning old family photos. For the past three years, since I started this project, my goal has been to get the pictures all scanned and burned to CD for my siblings, child, neices, nephews as Chritmas gifts. I'm not there yet, but am about half way done.
Yes, I think the chores will wait today. Perhaps I can do some of each of these. So many ideas, projects, creative things I want to do, and often I let life and my job get in the way of having time to work on them. And sometimes I overwhelm myself with the thought of so much I want to do, that I don't start anything. I really like to live my life doing what I want to do, the things that make me happy or satisfied, and yet I make the obligations take higher priority.
-write some more of my maternal family history for a local history book that is being published next year. I have started a rough draft and have a good outline to follow. There are a large number of local history books from the areas where my people settled, and yet there is very little mention of my family. Procrastination/Tronnes Time on one side of the family and perhaps lack of interest on the other side? Or maybe the families didn't know in time to have their stories included. I believe this is an important undertaking and everyone should write something of their history, even if not for a formal publication. Even though there has not been a good, comprehensive story published about my family in any of these books, there have been enough tidbits (usually is someone else's story where my family is mentioned) that I have learned things I never knew. The greater goal is to continue writing what I've started. A tome of information, and I have started with basic information about both sides of the family. I don't spend as much time as I'd like writing the next chapters.
-scrapbooking in some way, shape, or form. I'm in the middle of three ablums and have at least four other planned in my head. I also want to create a huge wall mural of family history and photos incorporating scrapbooking techniques. I haven't figured out what type of medium to use. My first thought was to paint and post directly on the wall. I still love that idea, but if I ever move from this place, the wall will be lost, and it would take a ton of work to remove/repaint. I also have a collage idea for recovering my file boxes. My desire to create is strong this morning, so I should give into that, and leave the chores.
-scanning old family photos. For the past three years, since I started this project, my goal has been to get the pictures all scanned and burned to CD for my siblings, child, neices, nephews as Chritmas gifts. I'm not there yet, but am about half way done.
Yes, I think the chores will wait today. Perhaps I can do some of each of these. So many ideas, projects, creative things I want to do, and often I let life and my job get in the way of having time to work on them. And sometimes I overwhelm myself with the thought of so much I want to do, that I don't start anything. I really like to live my life doing what I want to do, the things that make me happy or satisfied, and yet I make the obligations take higher priority.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Hot Days
It is so hot today. My house has been more than 26 degrees for three days straight and there is no end to the heat wave. Energy level is low and I feel as muggy as the air. But, in spite of all that, three good things about +30 weather:
-It is not -30
-It is not -30
-It is not -30
-It is not -30
-It is not -30
-It is not -30
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
family
I have a great family and love them all dearly. And I love that they can be silly and laugh and play.
Three genes my family inherited:
-the sense of humor gene
-the peaceful gene
-the cowlick gene
Three genes my family inherited:
-the sense of humor gene
-the peaceful gene
-the cowlick gene
Monday, July 20, 2009
What about today?
Three things that made today a good day:
-concern and understanding from The Kid about my mixed emotions when trying to decide if I should go to Cheryl's funeral, and her acceptance of my decision.
-a hug and an honest "Are you okay? This must be so hard for you." from a friend and colleague.
-the silliness of my family on facebook. They keep me laughing and I like that we keep our facebooking light and positive and funny; I'm glad we don't spread our lives and trials and tribulations there. We always know how to laugh and be silly and play.
-concern and understanding from The Kid about my mixed emotions when trying to decide if I should go to Cheryl's funeral, and her acceptance of my decision.
-a hug and an honest "Are you okay? This must be so hard for you." from a friend and colleague.
-the silliness of my family on facebook. They keep me laughing and I like that we keep our facebooking light and positive and funny; I'm glad we don't spread our lives and trials and tribulations there. We always know how to laugh and be silly and play.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
gratitude
I started this blog on a whim, but after thinking about it for awhile, I chose a sort-of theme. I used to keep a gratitude journal, where every day I would write down three things I was grateful for, or three things good about that day, or three special moments. That became my theme here, in a much more public way, but I have not taken the time to scribe daily. I have found time to check facebook and email daily though. Priorities? I chose to share this with a few special people in my life. I don't know if anyone reads it, but my intent was to do the three things list for myself, so it matters not if there are readers out there.
I saw an obituary this morning for a woman I met at the cancer clinic. I am still, hours later, struggling with how I feel about this. I am so fortunate to be alive and try to celebrate that in some way each day. It's hard to do, though. I find that I often return to my pre-cancer methods of coping and reacting. I still carry more anger than is healthy. I don't like the weight of that anger. It creeps in there before I know it. The 'three things' is one of the best ways for me to keep life in perspective.
Part of my anger since last September has been about spending so many hours of my life involved with work. I have much better things to do and so many more things I want to do than my job. Lots of possible solutions to this, I know.
My three things today are postive things about my job:
-A core group of co-workers that I trust and no 'big boss' looking over my shoulder. I am given work to do and am trusted to get it done, without undue interference.
-Very casual work environment, with casual clothes. I can (and do) wear jeans and t-shirts every day to work. Comfort is a big selling point. The dress clothes and the high heels and the perfection are not for me.
-I am paid pretty darn well for what I do and what my education is. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle or a lot of toys, but don't want or need them. My financial health is better than it's ever been. I know money is not everything - in fact, it's close to nothing. I've been on the other side of the fence, with no money and struggling to survive. The stress of that is incredible, but what was important to me then and what made me happy then, are the same things as now. People, sunshine, laughter, family, creativity, music, sunsets, nature, babies, being at peace within.
As I struggle today with what my life is, and my feelings about the loss of Cheryl and the unfairness of that, and with the fact that I have not quite made my life and lifestyle what I want it to be, I can work at letting go of the anger about having to work and the anger about work taking up my time to live, by finding today's three things that are good about my job. And I can write really long sentences.
I saw an obituary this morning for a woman I met at the cancer clinic. I am still, hours later, struggling with how I feel about this. I am so fortunate to be alive and try to celebrate that in some way each day. It's hard to do, though. I find that I often return to my pre-cancer methods of coping and reacting. I still carry more anger than is healthy. I don't like the weight of that anger. It creeps in there before I know it. The 'three things' is one of the best ways for me to keep life in perspective.
Part of my anger since last September has been about spending so many hours of my life involved with work. I have much better things to do and so many more things I want to do than my job. Lots of possible solutions to this, I know.
My three things today are postive things about my job:
-A core group of co-workers that I trust and no 'big boss' looking over my shoulder. I am given work to do and am trusted to get it done, without undue interference.
-Very casual work environment, with casual clothes. I can (and do) wear jeans and t-shirts every day to work. Comfort is a big selling point. The dress clothes and the high heels and the perfection are not for me.
-I am paid pretty darn well for what I do and what my education is. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle or a lot of toys, but don't want or need them. My financial health is better than it's ever been. I know money is not everything - in fact, it's close to nothing. I've been on the other side of the fence, with no money and struggling to survive. The stress of that is incredible, but what was important to me then and what made me happy then, are the same things as now. People, sunshine, laughter, family, creativity, music, sunsets, nature, babies, being at peace within.
As I struggle today with what my life is, and my feelings about the loss of Cheryl and the unfairness of that, and with the fact that I have not quite made my life and lifestyle what I want it to be, I can work at letting go of the anger about having to work and the anger about work taking up my time to live, by finding today's three things that are good about my job. And I can write really long sentences.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
More for my soul
Three things, of many, that fed my soul this week:
-spectacular Alberta summer skies
-The Kid relaxed and smiling
-good words of advice from a friend to help me get through a rough day
-spectacular Alberta summer skies
-The Kid relaxed and smiling
-good words of advice from a friend to help me get through a rough day
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)