Three things, of many, I learned from my aunt and her siblings:
- The value of education, learning, and perseverance. This family struggled to ensure that all were fed and clothed. Poverty was a way of life. Each of the thirteen found some measure of success and most were able to rise above the humble financial beginnings. My great-grandparents came to Canada to provide a better life for their families, to give them a chance that they could not find in their native Norway. The Thirteen overcame difficulties and found a way to go to school and find work. This often meant moving away, far away from the home nest, and forging a life that would be better for THEIR kids. I saw this lesson played out in my generation as aunts, uncles, cousins, opened their doors and their lives to have a cousin or niece or nephew live with them as they went to school or got their footing in a new town, a new job. The Thirteen struggled, and none were rich, but they passed this message along in such a deep way that it is a core value. Many of my generation, while not rich, are successful. Many of The Thirteen were avid readers and loved crossword puzzles and the fun of the English language. I see this same love of learning, of language, of word play with my cousins.
- Thrift and enjoyment of what you have. This was the generation that truly understood what recycling means. Pieces of tin foil and waxed paper carefully folded and reused, reworking clothes for another use or another child, cutting buttons off to be sewn onto another garment once the original was beyond repair, cutting paper-thin and worn out clothes into rags. Nothing was wasted and everything was reused. Growing up in poverty and surviving the depression may have forced this onto them, but the same habits continued after life became easier. I get sad when I think what a throw-away society we have become, and how we "need" the newest car, newest electronic toy, how we crumple up the Christmas wrapping and throw it all away. Along with the thrift, the true appreciation of what they had was something to admire. Striving for a better life, yes, but not often regretting the lives they had.
- A love of laughter and family. The deep bonds were so inherent with this generation that we gathered last week, knowing an era has ended, but reconnecting with cousins seldom seen to know our place, our history, our own selves. As we gathered last week, the focus was this family. Many who couldn't be there expressed their love of family through emails and through Facebook. The Thirteen loved to laugh and could laugh at all situations. There were problems, serious problems, but The Thirteen could cry and laugh and join in shared emotion to make everything seem all right, even during the times when things were far from 'all right'. This lesson continues; we gather now as grown cousins and we laugh and we laugh and we laugh. Nothing is so serious that we can't see the ridiculous. We possess an intelligent humour and carry with us the love of a good pun, a good story, a well-placed comeback. We laugh at ourselves, we laugh at each other, we laugh at others. We trade stories and we tease each other. We face life defiantly, knowing family and laughter will carry us through the toughest times.
This is an exceptional family and I learned how to live from The Thirteen. It hasn't been easy for me, and it certainly wasn't easy for them. The lessons reveal themselves to me in both stunning realizations and in little nudges to my brain. Through it all, I try to remember to laugh and to reach out to my family. Family is the truly the most important and steadfast blessing in my life. I will miss my aunt, as I miss my Mom and her siblings, but I will never forget how she and her siblings shaped my life and the lessons they taught me. I hope I can be an oldster as magnificent as you. Thank you.
