Christmas

I just finished taking down the Christmas tree and undecorating the house. It was kind of sad and lonely for me, to take the tree down by myself. As I worked, I took time to think about what Christmas is, and what it means to me. I know there is lots of press out there focusing on the commercialism and the loss of the true meaning of Christmas. For me, each Christmas is more beautiful, more peaceful, more full of love than the last and the ones past.

Three things Christmas means to me:

-Family. It is a time to gather and spend time and share food and share laughter and share love. I'm fortunate to have a large and loving and accepting family. I love you all dearly.

-Giving. All of us in the above large family have more than enough 'stuff', but yet each year, I buy a few small things. Each year I vow to not do that, but to contribute to a Christmas charity instead. For the past few years, I've done both. Each year I receive more gifts than many people. The giving is not about getting stuff, it's about opening love wrapped in shiny paper with pretty bows.

-Magic. For me there is still magic in seeing a little kid's excitement about Santa coming, outdoor lights, people singing carols off-key, people donating or adopting families or working at a free Christmas dinner, magic in hugs and magic in tears.

We had very little in the way of material things when I was growing up. Somehow, though, there was always Christmas, with enough food, and with at least one little gift for all. Some of our Christmases were stressful and unhappy, with too much drink and not enough peace. There were some full of fun and laughter. But there was always Christmas. My Mom worked hard to make sure we always had Christmas, even through the years of too much drinking. I miss her and I miss how much Christmas and her family meant to her. I think it is fitting that she died on Christmas Day.