Steps to Make Changes

I've been feeling rather unsettled the last few days. I have recuperated from my surgery and am spending time on some things I love to do. With the thought of returning to work next week constantly at the back of my mind, it has been much harder to stay in the present moment to fuly enjoy what I'm doing. Once again, I face the struggle of spending most of my waking hours at my job. I wonder how I get to where I need to be?

Three things to help me reconcile myself to where I am at and the steps to take to the next part of my life:

-I took a Reiki workshop a couple weeks ago. I'm not thinking of this as a money-making venture for me. My intent was to learn something new and to open my mind to other possibilities. The intent was met and I am now doing Reiki on myself, with good results. The old demon, impatience, keeps rearing up. I know I need to change my work situation, but today, this week, I'm not sure how or when. The financial part of this work keeps me tied there, and I do enjoy where my financial health is at. I'm not sure how to move away from that. While it is tempting to take a leap, leave the job, place my trust in the unknown, and move onto what I truly want, the mortgage still needs to be paid and my body still needs to be fed. Step One: make a plan.

-With the above financial aspects playing such a large part of my feelings, I often feels trapped and boxed in, with no options. Logically, I know this is not true. There are always options and keeping my eyes open to see those options and look for new opportunites is Step Two.

-Time and I have a love/hate relationship. Regular readers may have picked up on that. Step Three is to put some time limits on my current situation. My downfall with this in the past has been to say, "I'll give this six months". After the six months I face this again and then again go through the same emotions. I find the good stuff in my work and continue on with another "I'll give this six months". There IS much that is good abouut my work and I do enjoy most aspects of it. I don't have a passion for it, though. If I rationalize and justify staying at my job after my next self-imposed time line, for my own sanity I need to work at true acceptance of that, and continue with the Step One plan.

More than many people, I know life can change in a few moments. It is so very important to me to enjoy and love what I choose to do, whatever that is on any given day, and to continue to build strong and loving relationships. This is where I need to be. I will get there as fully as I can, as soon as I can.

Thanks for reading and making your way through the many time-worn and cliched phrases I've chosen today.