Space, the Final Frontier

The Kid and I moved things from one storage facility to another last week. The new one is just a tad bigger (we think) and a whole lot cheaper. It is a continuing struggle for us to get our home in order. It seems kind of crazy; she has been home from her Half Way Around The World move for over a year, and yet we can't quite get our home how we want. We don't have enough space, really, for two grown women with different tastes. We are managing though, but neither of us is completely satisfied. There are things about our space that drive me nuts and things that drive her nuts. They are not the same thing. We work at making compromises and trying to give each other space. Some days we are more successful than others.

Three things about the space we try to share:

- The physical space is for me the most trying. We each have special treasures we want out for all the world to see. All the world is much smaller for both of us right now, as we seldom have people to our home. We are waiting for that magic day when we feel the space is presentable enough. It almost is. We don't look as much like hoarders now. Our look in now more the-ladies-who-don't-put-stuff-away. We do. We do put stuff away. All that is left out has no place to go. We try to sort and organize and give away. Our values may match but our decorating styles and our need for items that bring us comfort do not.

- We work at giving each other enough space in the "Give me some space" way. We are often physically crowded in this 900 square foot condo. That makes it easy to encroach on each others' lives. I love and hate this part. It has made us very close. It has made us friends. It has created a firm and unbreakable bond.. What I hate is we each expect a sharing of lives and lifestyles and advice-giving and needing to know the details that the other can not, will not, should not share. Neither of us is very good at recognizing the boundaries during times of stress.

- Our changing moods, as two women who live together, creates some difficult moments and difficult days. We are usually open and sensitive about the others "head space". The times and days we each think our own needs, feelings, mood is more important are our really rough days. Really, both are equally important. I some home crabby and tired and stressed and in a bad head space. She comes home happy, at peace, bubbling, energetic and in a good head space. I only want to vent and want empathy. She only wants to share her joy and excitement. This good-mood/bad-mood changes often. The days when we both are crabby and want venting and empathy - oh, those can be scary days. We work it through.

We are continually learning from each other, The Kid and I. We don't often recognize it as such. As it is with life and other relationships, the learning, the message, the growth is shown to us in retrospect. Space - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual - is what binds each of us to another, to our life spirit, to peace, to joy. Space is truly the final frontier.