Within an hour of waking up on this cold and sunny Sunday, I had that "Sunday feeling". I don't know if this happens to you, but it does to me, and has for many Sundays over many years. It's the feeling of let down that the weekend is over and that my every day routine is soon to overtake me. Part of it comes from being brought up with Sunday being a special day, a family day, a big supper day. Part of it is that I just want to do what I want. It gets tough for me Sundays, to fight this feeling off and make the most of my day. As today went on - with no possibility of me being able to slow down time - I went about my Sunday life. I am still struggling this afternoon with the Sunday feeling but rather than fight it and dread the thought of my work-a-day life that is coming back tomorrow (Tomorrow? SO SOON? Tomorrow is only a few hours away!) I have enjoyed some moments of the day. Well, the moments in between thoughts of being back at work and having a structured have-to-do-this and have-to-do-that week.
Three things I'm enjoying this afternoon:
- It is cold here in my corner of the world. I dislike being cold; maybe that is new information about me for you. But it is sunny; bright almost blinding off the snow sunny. And there is warmth from this sun. Warmth on this Groundhog day. It gives me hope and feeds my soul.
- My chores are done. Groceries are bought, laundry is finished, housework is done. The obligations are out of the way, freeing me to do WHATEVER I WANT. A nap sounds good. Reading sounds good. Creating sounds good. Freedom to choose without external or self-imposed responsibilities feeds my soul.
- In the background, I hear the sounds of The Kid as she does some art work. She sounds like me: little grumbles; pieces of dissatisfaction with a part of her work; a sudden exclamation as something fits exactly right. I love that she has found this outlet for herself and that she can lose herself and feed her soul.
The choice of how to view life and chores and responsibilities and work is there, always. Too often lately I've chosen to focus on the grumpier, darker, woe-is-me side. I see this. I have relished the miserableness of late. It makes no sense but it's been some passive-aggressive game I've been playing with my self, my soul, God or the universe or the power (insert your own word). If I am miserable and crabby and complain long enough, if I'm enough of a victim, someone or something will fix it all up for me, make it go away. I will feel magically better, it will always be warm, the sun will always shine, I will have no obligations. Doesn't work. I have to do it. Today I found three small things to make Sunday better. And tomorrow? I'll find the moments, the natural, the people to make Monday better. I gotta keep feeding my soul.
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