Strong Women

I had the opportunity this week for a visit with my former mother-in-law. I hadn't seen her for twenty-five years and I had some trepidation. The days leading up to our scheduled visit were emotional for me, and emotion I had to carry alone for awhile, to help The Kid work through her feelings about what this long overdue visit might bring. Twenty-five years brings a lot of change and although I knew she was wheelchair bound, I still was not prepared to see this strong and vital woman unable to walk. It was a good visit but made me feel a heavy sadness for some time afterwards. I listened to her talk of each of her fourteen grandchildren, most of whom she rarely sees, and some she has not seen for many years. There was both pain and pride in her voice as she told us what each was doing. I saw a glimpse of our previous friendship when I saw tears glistening in her eyes, as she told me of her desire to move to an assisted living facility, but circumstances she can not change won't allow for that right now. Her strength and vitality is still there, part of her core being.


I know many strong women and count both my mother and my daughter in that group. Family, friends, colleagues who have buried their own children, who burn with pain as they see their children suffer from debilitating physical or mental illnesses or fight addictions, who have suffered pain and abuse, who lived through tragedies, who have buried too many loved ones. These strong women in my life have added to my life. They share many common qualities, although their own personal circumstances are very different. My eyes are older now and can see these strong women with more clarity and I have a deeper appreciation for them.


Three qualities, of many, strong women possess:


- Faith: in something greater than themselves, in others, in themselves, a deep faith that all is good and will get better, a quiet and often unspoken faith that is not forced onto others.


- Acceptance: a true acceptance of what is, living the words of the Serenity Prayer, using their energy to change what can be changed and not fighting what can not, an acceptance of others, an acceptance of themselves yet always growing and learning, an acceptance of and love of family.


- Humour: poking gentle fun at themselves and at others, finding the lighter side of any situation, laughing until their sides and faces hurt, knowing in their core that laughter is healing and an ointment for the burns that life brings.


I see glimpses of this strength in myself at times and I know I have had and continue to have many strong women as role models. They inspire me. Thank you to each of the strong women who have played a role in my life. You've added to it immensely in ways that can't be defined and I love you all. Thank you to my former mother-in-law, who again taught me something in just two hours, twenty-five years later.